My first Christmas away from home

Merry Christmas everyone!

If you know anything about me, you know that when it comes to holidays, I am ALL. IN.

St. Patricks day, Valentines day, Halloween, you name it - I’m going to celebrate it, and I am going to celebrate it with gumption.

When I signed my year long contract for teaching English in South Korea, I knew I was going to miss a year’s worth of holidays and all the traditions that I have with my friends and family, and it was actually one of the biggest mental hurdles I had to come to terms with before I actually signed my papers. I cried watching fireworks at my boyfriends house in Fredericksburg just thinking about spending Christmas alone.

Thanksgiving was a rough one to be quite honest, especially because I didn’t even own an oven at the time, my stuffing never arrived from Amazon (the very best part of Thanksgiving, amiright? ), I didn’t make reservations at a restaurant serving thanksgiving dinner for expats far enough in advance, and while my family was spending quality time together eating a feast and putting up Christmas decorations, I was getting ready to head to work at 9 am the next day because of the time difference.

“If Thanksgiving was this bad,” I thought, “I don’t even want to know what Christmas is going to be like.”

But Christmas has now come and gone, and in a strange turn of events, I’m totally fine. I think that Thanksgiving was a practice run for the bigger holiday.

Between then and now, I’ve realized a lot of important things.

Mainly, that different does not equal bad, and alone does not equal lonely. The fact that I’m spending Christmas alone on the other side of the world does not mean that I am lonely or forgotten by any means, and this was completely by choice. While staying in your comfort zone and counting on familiarity can sound really appealing, I’m so glad I made the leap, overcame my fear, and am experiencing this year of adventure. I have my whole life for traditions and comfort - and the fun thing about being an expat is that the chances of you being surrounded by other expats going through the exact same thing is pretty high.

I have a really good yet small group of friends here, and while our Christmas dinner that was served on paper plates in the bar that we frequent was not the same as my cozy dining room at home, I’m almost grateful that it was so different. By experiencing something so completely different than what I’m used to, I’m not comparing it in my head to what I’m used to whatsoever. Despite the worsening pandemic and the 9 pm curfew, we still managed to have a lovely evening full of boozy hot chocolate and polar bear shots.

In fact, the atmosphere of all these strangers from around the world squeezing into a random expat bar to celebrate Christmas together was really an eye opening experience. I love the way that shared experiences such as this can bring complete strangers together and create a community of like-minded people who are away from home looking for adventure or chasing their dreams.

Although I felt alone in the beginning of the day, and although I came home to my little apartment where I live all by myself, without even a chair to sit in, I came back feeling very much content, connected to the expat community around me, and grateful that I was able to be a part of Christmas morning with my family over Facetime.

If anything, spending Christmas alone actually made me feel empowered?

Like, I moved to the complete opposite side of the earth, completely alone, at age 21, and I made it through the holidays by myself just fine. It really just affirmed for me that I am fully capable of creating my own happiness, and my happiness does not rest on me being home for the holidays, following my old routine, and staying where I am comfortable, like I feared that it might be.

I’m currently in Seoul for my winter break from work, 3 weeks away from having my boyfriend here for a month, and nothing can really dampen my spirits! (except maybe the 9 pm curfew being extended through New Years - that really might send me over the edge actually). I’m extremely proud of myself for creating this life I’m living in such a large foreign city so far away from home - furnishing my tiny apartment, paying bills that don’t have a word of English on them, taking care of myself, surviving the holidays alone, and coming out in one piece.

Special shoutout to my parents for shipping an outrageously expensive package filled with homemade Christmas cookies, pastries, and gifts to soften the blow - I’m positive I would probably have different thoughts about my first Christmas away from home if I didn’t have at least a tiny taste of tradition😉

I had this post planned for months, expecting much more intense feelings, which surprisingly is not the case - so it’s a bit of a shorter post this week! I hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and still managed to make the best of things during these strange times in which we are living.

Enjoy this picture of my kiddos on our Christmas Eve party - and stay tuned for some exciting posts about Seoul!